The Boy With The Trident (Finnick's Story, Book Two)
by Finnick Odair4
Summary: Finnick is headed back into the Games. This is both his story before the events of the 75th Hunger Games, and moves on to be his P.O.V during Catching Fire. A tale of love and loss, romance and rebellion, pain and passion...but most of all, the story of Finnick Odair, our beloved boy with the trident.
1. Sealed With Love

It's over. Finally.

As I step out into the cool evening air of district four, I let out the breathe that I have been holding since the evening began. Tedious, stressful, but I think I won. I think I did it. Convinced them. Perhaps I will be able to keep Annie after all.

I close my eyes for a moment, picturing her. Her long hair flowing down her back, her green eyes flashing in a moment of humor or anger. How could I ever have been ready to lose her, if that is what it took? She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I turn back for a moment and look through the window into the banquet hall. I stayed until the end, and now all that's left are the remnants of food and those that must clean it up. Katniss and Peeta headed for the train station about ten minutes ago, and are likely on their way to district three now.

Turning from the window, my feet begin to find their own way back to the victor's village. To my home. On their way to district three, and then two, one, the Capitol, twelve. And then what? The Capitol again. And the Seventy Fifth Hunger Games.

Katniss and Peeta could not have played it better tonight. First off, their outfits coincided perfectly, evoking gasps as they travelled down the stairs to their table. Katniss wore a mermaid dress, to represent out district, but it was the color of flames, and shimmered with some jewel that was meant to represent water. Fire and water. Water to quench the flames of rebellion. The meaning of the outfit was obvious.

Peeta stood out just as much as Katniss. He wore what must have once been a plain black suit, but his stylists had covered it in the same flame material as Katniss's dress. His shoes and bow tie were completely covered in the water like gems, and they were also strewn almost randomly about his outfit. Too much water.

Water is not exactly appropriate for a girl on fire.

They ate, they danced, they kissed. And then they disappeared and I watched them run into one of the side rooms, where they were later found and brought back out by one of the mayor's attendants. He was laughing, and Katniss was giggling like a little girl. It was an act, of course, but somehow it was a far better one than on the stage earlier. I almost believed it myself. Would have, I guess, if I hadn't been told differently by Haymitch.

Haymitch. His words come back to me. Selfish. Not trustworthy. I cringe again at the thought of them, at his hand striking out at me, at his statement. That he had never liked me, that I would just make things worse. I have never exactly admired Haymitch, but I wouldn't say I didn't like him. He was just another victor. One that, for some reason, I thought understood me better than most. How wrong I was.

_Assuming it is an act._

It is an act. He has to know this. But I suppose he doesn't really. To him, perhaps it is just an escape for me, as drinking is. But it isn't. I have tried so hard, so hard, to hold on to who I am. To who I was before the Games. Which, perhaps, was not much, but it was something. Truly, the most difficult thing of all must be to be misunderstood by those you only want approval from. Which, in my case, is pretty much everyone. Not that I care about approval so much. I just can't take it when I am given wary, or superior glances by so many people, when all I am doing is protecting those that I love.

I could die for those I love. Instead, I choose to survive for them. I think the latter is the more difficult option.

I shiver, and my mind tries to push back the thoughts that enter my head then. The thoughts and memories that I have tried so hard to forget, but that will always be with me. The secrets, the truth's whispered in the dark of the night. How dark those nights were. For me, at least.

My house is right in front of me now. I passed Annie's without thinking, without looking. I can't see her tonight. To do so would be stupid. Not until I know the President's verdict.

Instead, I sit on the chair that rests against the wall of my house, on the porch. And I rest by elbows on my knees and place my head in my hands. _I won't cry. I won't._

And I don't. I don't think I have any tears left.

After a moment, when my mind has cleared enough to think properly, I raise my head and look up at the sky, at the stars that blink. One shoots across the sky, and I follow it until it disappears. I wonder if the same sky lights up the Capitol and the other districts tonight. It must. The sky is one thing that we can not conquer, or change. Up there, amidst the clouds and stars, there is freedom. If only we could find a way to capture that freedom, to take hold of it.

I hear a bird call in the woods, a mockingjay. I never noticed them until this year, until Katniss's pin and new role in the rebellion. But mockingjay's are free. They have found a way to conquer the sky and the freedom that it brings, even though the Capitol never meant for them to exist. Like the rebellion. The Capitol never meant for this to exist, either, but it does. The question now is whether or not we, like the mockingjays, will be able to find a way to take back our freedom.

But, are we willing to pay the price that freedom will cost?

I certainly hope so.

I turn my head to look at Annie's house, which I passed by earlier without a glance. The light is on in the window, so she has not yet gone to bed. And then I see the door open, and she steps out onto the porch, and sits in a chair identical to the one I am in now. She is still wearing her outfit from tonight. A long sweeping dress with a shawl. But her hair, which was up during the banquet, is now long and sweeping over her shoulders. She doesn't look at me, doesn't know that I am watching her. Instead her eyes, too, look up at the sky, taking in the sweeping landscape above us. I wonder if she is thinking the same thing I was only moments before.

And then I remember that she still knows nothing. The rebellion, this year's Games. I still haven't told her. I still haven't decided if I should.

Not wanting her to see me, I slip off the porch and walk into the woods behind my home, slipping off my shoes just before the tree line. It has been a long time since I have wandered here. I used to be afraid of the woods at night. When I was younger, I would sit around the campfires at the beach, and the older men would tell stories of the haunted creatures that inhabited the forest after dark. It wasn't until my own Hunger Games that I found out that these stories weren't exactly true. Though, in the Games, there is always something haunting the woods. It just isn't supernatural, as they would have us believe.

I walk all the way to the small cave, which is really just an overhanging rock, where I first met Annie. Running my hand along the rough surface of the stone, I can recall so many of the moments I spent here. Running from my past, from my future. From the present. My life hasn't exactly been easy.

The first time I found the place was after sneaking out of the house before my father came home. He had been busy at work all day, and hadn't been there when the peacekeepers dragged me home, complaining about another fight I had been forced into. They had left him a note, and I dared not rip it up. Instead, I headed to the woods, hoping his anger would be quelled by the time I came back. I stumbled upon this place then, and also found the old trident that gave me hope. I still have it. I keep it here. Perhaps one day, if all else fails, it will give hope to another boy or girl. But until then, it is my secret.

I was wrong about my father, though. He thought it was an act of cowardice, running from the house. I walked in, late in the evening, well after curfew. I should have thought that through, that coming in late meant disobeying one of his rules, but I didn't. He was sitting at the table, waiting for me.

I considered going to my room, hoping he wouldn't follow, but that was just a boys hope, and I knew it. So I stayed, and I dropped my gaze, not able to look at him.

"Where've you been, Finnick?"

His words were sharp, cutting, and I cringed. I knew then that my plan hadn't exactly turned out how I had hoped.

"Walking, sir. In the woods" I responded. It was the truth, but perhaps I shouldn't have told it. I had also forgotten his rule about entering the forest at night. But I have never liked lieing, whether it would get me out of trouble or not. It makes me sick. I barely knew my mother, but she was gentle. The only time I ever lied to her was when she asked if I had taken one of the squares she had baked for the party that evening. I told her no, but I had. She didn't touch me, she never did, but her obvious hurt and pain that I had lied to her broke my heart, and I could never do it again.

"At night? Finnick Odair, what kind of idiot are you? Getting in another fight, breaking curfew, being in the forest at night. I am ashamed to call you my son."

"I'm sorry. Please, I didn't mean it. I didn't realize..."

"Shut up." He cut off my plea, uncaring. I had disobeyed. That was all.

What hurt me more that night, was that I actually had. Not on purpose, of course, but I had broken his rules. Normally I couldn't understand his punishments, but that night I could not justify my actions.

He stood up, walked toward me, and backhanded me across the face, as Haymitch did, just tonight.

"Don't make excuses."

I was sobbing now, and choking on my own sobs. Not from the pain, but from the emotional trauma. I tried so hard, so hard.

He hit me again,"What are you? A woman? Don't cry, boy."

I tried to stop, I tried, but I couldn't. The tears were falling of their own accord, and their was nothing I could do to stop them.

"Rebellious brat. Good for nothing. Worthless."

His voice cut me, as it always did, because all I wanted from him was approval, and I never got it. Never.

He shoved me against the wall, and picked up his belt from the table. "You need to learn to be a man. Don't cry, don't cringe. Take your shirt off."

I was sobbing uncontrollably now. I was only eleven at the time, and his words broke my heart. My hands were shaking so bad I could not remove my shirt.

"Take off your shirt," He screamed at me,"Now."

I forced my hands to move, pulled off the shirt, and felt his belt against my skin.

"Don't cry. Man up. You are an Odair."

I barely felt the pain, I was too numb, but the tears kept coming. And then I felt the blackness curling in, the relief it would bring.

My legs gave out and I crumpled to the floor. He was screaming at me, to get up, to shut up, and other things, but then blackness took me, and it was over.

The memory passes through my mind in an instant, and I draw my hand sharply up from the rocks, feeling the tears gathering again in my eyes. That was just one day of many.

This place was also a refuge. After my Games, I came here almost every day. I was in some state of shock, broken, over what I had done. Because I was a murderer, and I couldn't take any of it back. I wished that I had died in the arena. There was nothing I could say to make any of it better. I had no one. I had refused my father's request to live with me in the victor's village, so I had escaped that threat, but my own mind caused an almost greater one. I was lost, so lost. It was Mags who brought me out of that. She followed me here, one day. Sat beside me. Held my hand. She didn't say anything until she got up to leave.

"Don't let them change you, Finnick. They will have won if you let them change you."

Those words brought me back. Showed me that what had happened in the arena, though it will always stay with me, was not who I was. That I was more. That what the President forced on me later was also not who I was. This place is a place of redemption. And not just for me.

When Annie came back from her Games, it took me months to bring her back. She was lost in a haze of mental illness. I refuse to call her mad, because she isn't. She was just hurt and lost, as every victor is when they come out. Only for her, it was different. She won without taking a single life. But she saw so much. And while she does not have the same guilt looming over her head, she would dream about her district partner, Nolan, each night, and wake up screaming, calling for him, trying to save him. I was there for her, and the day she came out of that, here in this cave, was the best day of my life. She looked at me, spoke my name. And I kissed her. It was that day that I fell into the chasm of love for her that has captured me ever since.

No, this place is not all bad. In fact, so much of it is good.

I turn away, then, and walk towards the beach. The moon is full tonight, lighting up the white sand, and the water glistens in its light. I close my eyes, feeling the ocean's breeze across my face, rustling my hair.

Pulling off my shirt and shoes and I wade into the water. It's cold, but the tingling, numbing sensation makes me feel alive. I dive under, and swim to the dock, pulling myself up onto the wooden surface. I remember standing here before, pulling in boats, helping bring in the catches. One time, a young child fell off one of the boats and I dove in to save her. Her parents took her without a thank you, and didn't look me in the eye. I staying in the village, or in the forest, after that. I wanted to help, to do something, but I couldn't take the superior attitudes of so many of the others.

I feel a slight tickle against my feet, and look down to see a few minnows gathered around my toes. I draw my legs out of the water and they dart away quickly. Not that there was any danger.

I feel someone behind me, then. I can't tell who it is, but my guess is either Annie or Mags. Only they would be out here after dark.

I turn, and to my surprise, it is neither. Instead, it is Amber, Annie's younger sister. I wonder what she is doing out here.

She glances at me, as though she wasn't expecting company, but then comes over and takes a seat on the wood beside me.

"Finnick." she says, her voice neutral, not cold as with so many others.

"Amber," I respond, trying to keep my voice friendly. _Don't let them change you._

Amber rubs her hand along her hair, pushing it back and behind her ear. "I didn't expect to see you here, but since you are..." her voice fades out for a moment. "Since you, are I guess I may as well say thank you."

I stare at her quizzically, confused. "Thank you?" Her family has never liked me, and I have never been welcome in their home. I was Annie's choice, not theirs.

She smiles softly,"Yes, thank you. I admit, I have always been wary of you, Finnick. I have often wished Annie would have chosen someone else. But there is something about you, Odair. You brought her back to us, when no one else could. Perhaps it was just fate in the arena, but you were the one who worked with her, who loved her, who drew her back from the haze she was in when she survived. No one else, could. And I know she loves you. And, though I doubted it initially, I can tell that you love her. Whoever you really are, that is enough for me. So, thank you."

I nod, not sure what to think. Especially because she does not know the truth, the full story. What would she think if she did? Would she still be thanking me? I don't know. What would any of them think, if they knew the truth?

I turn away, and look down at the water,"I will always love Annie. I have never loved anyone else." It is the truth, without going to far into anything.

I can tell that she is staring at me, but I don't look back at her.

"What do you mean? Never loved anyone else."

I shrug, and my muscles tighten with anxiety. I did it again. Said something I should have kept to myself,"Nothing. I didn't mean anything."

I hate lieing, but I have become used to it. I meet her eyes for a moment, but she shakes her head and looks away, confusion creasing her forehead.

"Who are you, Finnick Odair?"

I turn away again, and feel heat rushing through my face. Who am I? I don't even know. It is something I have struggled with, fought over...who am I? What am I?

"I don't know."

We both turn and look at each other again, at the same time. She is beautiful, just like her sister. They are similar in so many ways. Looking at her, I already miss Annie. Wish I was holding her now.

Amber's eyes study me, as though attempting to reach into me, to see the secrets I have guarded so closely. The secrets that would define me, if I let them. And then she nods, as though coming to a conclusion, and stands up.

"Annie told me once that you were not who we all think you are. She wouldn't tell me anything else. I have never been to the Capitol. All I have ever known is District Four. It's beauty and it's pain. It's walls that threaten to close around me and choke me, as they do to everyone else. I know what you went through, we all do. But we envy your freedom, and despise what you do with it. Or at least, what it seems you do with it. But Annie would never love a man who has done what you seem to have done. She wouldn't. I know that. You aren't what you seem to be, Finnick. But what you truly are, I don't know."

I don't respond, and she turns to go, then turns back one more time.

"Oh, and Finnick?"

"Yes?"

"If you break her heart, I'll break your face," she winks at me, and smiles, and I know that she has forgiven me for winning her sister's heart without her approval. Perhaps she even approves, now. I don't know, but I nod.

"I hope, beyond all hope, that I never do."

This seems to stall her, and I can tell that she wants to ask what I mean by that, but to her credit she doesn't. Instead, she walks down the wooden dock, up the beach, and back towards town. Leaving me in silence.

I stare down at the waves that are lapping against my feet, which now rest just above the water line. The water looks black in the darkness. And then, suddenly, it is no longer black, and is instead clear, like a mirror, and in it I see a perfect reflection of myself.

"Who are you, Finnick Odair?"

Who am I? I don't know. Or do I?

I am the lover of Annie, a friend to Mags. I am willing to give up my life for the rebellion. I am faithful. I am trustworthy. I give without expecting anything in return. I am lost, I often feel like I have no hope. But I am strong, and I will fight back. I will fight with everything in me for what I believe is right. But I am still a boy, not a man. Is that so bad?

I am the boy with the sugar cubes. I am the boy with the trident. What else I am, I do not know. But that is okay. For now, I will use what I have to better others. The Games have begun. And we will win.

We have to win.

We don't have a choice.

I stand up, and with one last glance at the water, start down the dock. I consider walking through town again, but that could be thought strange at this hour. Instead, I go back through the woods, walking slowly, savoring this moment of freedom.

Only then do I realize that the night is silent, that the birds have ceased their song. I search for the cause of the noise, wondering if my wandering through their territory is the reason. But they were singing only moment before.

Then I see it, almost lost in the blackness of the night. A silver hovercraft appears almost directly above me, and stays still for a moment, before disappearing again. I hear the rush of an engine, and then it is gone. I wonder what it means.

And then, that too, is apparent. Because floating down from the sky towards me is a silver parachute. The same type that tributes receive in the arena, always bearing a gift from a sponsor. And this one is obviously meant for me and me alone.

I watch it in silence as it falls to the ground, and then stare at it for a moment before starting towards it and picking it up. It still feels familiar in my hand, though it was years ago that I received one myself. I consider leaving it, dropping it and walking away, because somehow I feel that I will not like what is inside.

But, of course, I can't. I undo the latch and open the silver canister slowly. Inside is a single, solitary slip of paper. I pick it up, and examine it, without allowing my mind to read the words. This can be from only one person. In a moment I will know whether I passed or failed the test. In a moment my fate will be decided.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and reopen them. The message begins:

"My dearest Finnick,

I didn't think you had it in you, I must admit. I expected you to fail. In fact, to be honest, I wanted you to fail. I like seeing people fail. But you didn't. No, tonight you played it excellent. Sitting away from Annie, flirting with just about everyone else. Oh, and that kiss with...the other victor. What was her name again? It doesn't matter. But that was a very nice touch. Excellent. I almost fell for it myself. I misjudged you, perhaps. Perhaps you aren't the moral, upstanding man I thought you were. Maybe you are just a boy, willing to do anything to save those you love. Anything at all? Isn't that right, Finnick. But you may have your wish, for now at least. Keep Annie. But don't fail me. You had better not fail me."

On the back are three more words. Sealed with love.

I stare at the paper, feeling conflicting emotions threatening to choke me. Anger, at his words. Fear, at the threat that lies within them. Hurt, at the thought that maybe he is right, but what else can I do. And joy, pure joy, that I can keep Annie. I want to run to her house, to tell her. But what to tell her? Isn't that the issue.

I suck in a deep breath, allowing air to fill my lungs again, and continue walking. What to tell Annie? And then I know. I know what I must tell her. What I should have told her all along. No matter the pain it may cause, or the reaction it may produce. She has a right to know, as much as I do. I need to tell her the truth.

But, in the morning. Because suddenly I am so exhausted that I feel I could lie down and fall asleep right here. The stress of the past few months, and the fear of the months ahead have taken their toll, and I know that I am in no conditions to do anything else tonight. So, instead, when I get back to my house, I get a pen, a slip of paper, and a sugar cube. Annie's lights are out, but when I have written the short note, I bring it to her house and, opening her door, place it on the bench just inside.

It isn't much, just something to assure her when she wakes. Because I wouldn't be surprised if once I fall asleep, I don't get up for a while. My mind is feeling foggy, and I can't think straight anymore.

I pull myself back to bed, hoping Snow was watching me as I wrote the note. Because it was supposed to be ironic. I slap in his face, perhaps. But then I hope that he wasn't watching, in case he changes his mind.

The note was simple. The front said simply:

"Want a sugar cube?"

And on the back I wrote:

"Sealed with love."

**This will honestly be the only thing I write until Christmas! I just had so many ideas running through my head and I needed to write them down. Anyways, review and comment, I love to hear from you, and I will be posting again in a few weeks! **


	2. Someone to Love

Death. The word that has been haunting my dreams for the past two days. I am not certain how it happened, but when my head hit the pillow two days ago, I did not wake up until now. I have been fighting death. Figuratively.

When I finally pulled myself from the tendrils of sleep threatening to choke me, I found Annie sitting beside my bed. I did not know how long she had been there, only that she was, and that was all that mattered.

She kissed me, pulled me from bed, and brought me downstairs to a large breakfast she had prepared. I wondered how long she had been there.

"Thank you, Annie," I whisper, holding her hand, as we sit at the table finishing the meal.

She eyes me, as though searching deep into me, attempting to reveal my deepest secrets, and turning, my eyes close, shutting off the window into my world.

"I spoke with Amber yesterday," she tells me.

Nodding, I swivel back around to look at her.

"She told me she saw you on the beach the night of the banquet. When Katniss and Peeta were here. That you were acting strange, as though trying to cover up a deep secret. What is it, Finnick? You haven't been yourself lately."

My eyes find a crack in the wall, just above Annie. She has me trapped. Now I have a choice. To lie to her, or to tell her the truth. I hate lieing. Despise it. When your life is a lie, you try to separate yourself from it as much as possible. But the truth is painful. Now, more than most times. I don't know if Annie can handle it.

"You know you can talk to me, Finnick. About anything. Only, I know you are not. And that hurts me more than you know."

Her voice is both cold and warm at the same moment, despairing and filled with a type of hope. Lost, but desperately trying to be found.

Finally I speak, meeting her eyes again at the same moment.

"You're right, Annie. I have been keeping things from you." My eyes avert themselves again, and then return, knowing I can not hide in this moment,"But I beg you to understand. All I want is your love, and I did not know what to do. I love you, Annie. Perhaps it was a mistake, not telling you. But I hope you can understand that everything I did, I did because I love you with all my heart."

Her eyes are shining, like white gems embedded in black rock.

"I love you, Finnick."

Cringing, I shake my head slowly,"Annie, this is going to anger you. Hurt you. I-I don't know what else."

A flash of something shines through her eyes. As though all the emotions I have just spoken crossed her mind in a moment. She blinks.

"Finnick, you know I am far stronger than I once was."

It's a plea. For understanding. For me to believe her, to trust her.

"I know."

We stare off for a few minutes, neither speaking because neither of us know what to say. Annie waits for me to begin, and I do not know how.

"I don't think I can tell you here."

She nods, and stands. I still hold her hand, gripping her tightly, and we leave the house, our unfinished breakfast getting cold on the table behind.

When we exit the house, I realize that it is not morning as I thought, but early evening. My missed days, due to sleep, have thrown off my sense of time as well. I am now thankful that I slept in my clothes, because it made the whole situation easier.

I kick off my shoes at the beginning of the forest, behind my home, as I always do. Annie leaves hers on, and I wonder at this. She is normally as ready as I am to remove footwear. It may be nothing, but it seems far more like something than not. Perhaps just a sign that she is not ready to fully trust me again, not until she has heard what I have to say. I swallow hard at this thought. If these are her feelings already, then I may have already lost her. For what will she think when she knows the truth.

It takes us only ten minutes to reach the small cave in the rocks, where we first met. I sit, and Annie takes a seat beside me. To far for our bodies to touch, but she does not release my hand. I take it as a good sign.

We sit for a moment, our eyes forward, reaching through the trees to the beach beyond. Watching as the sun begins to set over the horizon. Beautiful, as always.

"So?" Annie's voice cuts through the silence, but there is no harshness in it.

I turn and meet her eyes, knowing that I cannot look away in this. I should have told her, long ago. She will not understand my silence. And I cannot bear to lose her.

"I am sorry, Annie. For not telling you what I am about to say, long before. I did not want to endanger you, and I hope you will understand. I-" my voice begins to break, and I breath slowly, trying to regain my composure. I am drowning again. I have been strong for so long, but this moment is breaking me. I feel the water, threatening to push me under, to suck me up. I squeeze my eyes shut, and then feel Annie's hand, squeezing my own, drawing me back. My eyes reopen on their own.

"I can't bear to lose you, Annie."

A tear slips down my cheek, before I can stop it. I don't want to make myself out to be the victim here. I need to be strong. I can't manipulate her. She needs to know the truth.

But the truth is so hard to tell. And my heart feels far to heavy to say anything.

In her eyes there is a strange mixture of fear, hurt, pain...and...do I see it?

Love.

"You will never lose me, Finnick. Not ever."

I draw a deep breath, feeling life and hope fill me again. That is what I needed. Because to lose Annie would be to lose the only thing that is and has ever been precious in my life. To lose her would be to lose hope.

"It began this year, with the game. With Katniss. With the mockingjay."

Annie's eyes do not change, as though she knew all along that something was not right.

"The President feels threatened by her."

Annie nods,"I thought that might be the case."

I suck in a breath,"But he also feels threatened by me. By each of the victors. By you, Annie."

At this her eyes get slightly wider, but almost unrecognizably,"What does that mean, Finnick."

"The victors are the beacons of hope for their district. Katniss holding out the berries began a rebellion in many of the districts. I have heard rumors that it may start here. The people are restless, Annie. And the President knows this. So-" my voice breaks off, unwilling or unable to tell her the most important part.

"So, what? What is it, Finnick?"

"The President has declared a special Quarter Quell this year. Very special," I pause for a moment, readying myself,"He is sending previous victors back in, Annie. Katniss. Peeta. Myself," my voice chokes on the last word. Not because of what it means for me, but because of what it means for Annie. For her sanity.

Perhaps for her life.

Her eyes are wider than I have ever seen them, and a look of cold disbelief and then anger fills them. But for some reason she does not release my hand.

"What about me, Finnick?"

I shake my head slowly. I can't tell her. She would try to dissuade Mags, perhaps, and if she did, I could lose her forever,"We do not know who will be drawn."

But we do. We both know that Annie's name is almost certain to be the one drawn from the bowl. But I know that she will not be the one to enter the arena.

No matter what.

"You have to help them, then," is all Annie says.

"Who?" I am confused. She is reacting far different than I ever would have thought.

"Katniss. Peeta. Or Haymitch, if he goes in. Well, especially Katniss. If she is the beacon of the rebellion, then she may be our only hope."

I smile,"See, that's the thing. They already have a rescue plan."

Her eyes grow slightly wider, if that is possible,"What?"

"We don't know if it will work. But they hope to rescue as many victors as possible from the arena. And many of us have already sworn to protect Katniss. No matter what."

"Who?" Annie's eyes are alight with hope,"How?"

I grin,"District Thirteen. They were not fully destroyed, as we had all been told. As for how, well, I don't know all the details in full, or don't understand them, but it involves blowing up the arena and an escape by hovercraft. Then head for district thirteen and begin the largest scale rebellion of all times. If it works."

Annie falls into my arms, and I can't contain my thankfulness at her acceptance of the situation. Of her unfailing love. And then she sits back up.

"Finnick, who is they?"

I swallow hard. I had hoped, after her happiness, that it may not come to this,"They...a few of the victors. We had a meeting, after the last games. Myself, Johanna, Mags, Haymitch, Beetee...those are a few. Others as well, and some that I do not know were also told. I believe the morphlings were let in on a small portion of the plan, perhaps Chaff and Seeder. Others too, maybe. I am not certain."

"Why wasn't I told?" Her voice is edged with cold now. And anger.

"Annie, I did not want to burden you more than..."

Her eyes flash,"More than what, Finnick? More than I already am? But the MORPHLINGS were told? Everyone suffers from the arena, Finnick. Everyone. Not just me, and I have been better for so long. So why wasn't I told? Why?"

There are tears running down her cheeks now, and I know she is right. I suffer from the arena, perhaps more than she does now. She has been better. There are always moment, will always be. She will fall back into it when I am in the arena and she is not. This I don't doubt, and it hurts me more than anything else. And if the Capitol gets their hands on her, they may break her. Forever. I feel tears streaking down my own eyes.

"Because I love you, Annie. It was wrong. I am sorry. But I loved you too much to endanger you more than you already are. The President threatened you, threatened us, and I couldn't bear to lose you. I couldn't, Annie," my voice is pleading. Begging her to understand.

And she does. She falls into my arms again, and then we are both sobbing, and she speaks through her tears,"I told you, you would never lose me, Finnick. I love you. Just...tell me next time."

I pull myself back together, wiping at the tears as she continues to sob in my arms,"I swear it, Annie. I swear it."

And then I press my lips against hers, tasting the salt of her tears as they fall over her face, running over her lips, and she presses herself against me. The sun continues to set, and we find our way to the beach, she sitting on my lap, lips somehow still pressed to mine.

When we finally release each other, I know something has change. In my heart. Because now I no longer need to carry this burden along. And i have not lost her. This means more to me than anything in the entire world ever could.

And in that moment I spill out everything else. The words of the President, the threats, every moment of the meeting. Everything except for Mags.

And Annie just listens. Never releasing my hand.

Finally the story comes to an end. I didn't leave out anything, save for Annie's rescue from the soon to be reaping. Her eyes have slowly melted back to size, and now she is just staring at me, unsure of what her next move or her next words should be.

She stands, and walks toward the water. The sun has long set now, and the moon is full in the sky, shining down on us, embracing us with its light. Annie looks out at the water, back to me.

"What if we got on a boat, and just kept going? Left this all behind. There must be a world beyond. Something else." She turns to me, eyes gleaming with a mixture of hope and tears.

"They'd catch us," I whisper, and she turns away."

"Maybe not."

I roll my eyes, though her back is turned and she can't see it,"We wouldn't make it five miles."

"No, we'd make it five miles," she states firmly, turning and sitting again on the sand beside me,"All we would need is a trident and net, and we'd be golden."

"Look, I have Mags and you have your family. We couldn't just leave them behind."

"They could come with us!" Annie's voice is slightly raised, excited.

"Annie, think about it. Mags, on a boat for days, weeks, who knows how long? And there might be nothing but water forever, or we could fall off the end of the world."

She nods, the hard realization of the situation finally echoing in her mind,"You're right."

"And besides, Annie, we can't leave now. I can't. There is a rebellion stirring. We have to stay, fight. It would be cowardly to leave the rest behind now. They need us. The world needs us."

Annie's eyes are glittering with tears,"You maybe. You have the ability to protect, to save. You can help them. They need you. No one needs me."

A pounding fills my ears, and I realize it is my own heart, frightened by this realization, by this thought. That no one needs her. Have I allowed her to believe that?

And then I realize that I have. However unintentionally. By leaving her out, by not telling her the truth, by acting as though she was not strong enough to handle it. I have made her feel both unwanted and unneeded. But that is not the truth.

"I do," I speak, as I draw her in close, kissing her lightly on the top of the head,"I need you."

Her arms wrap around me, and she does not answer.

It is then that I understand fully how strong she is. She has been through so much. As much as it is painful for me to go through everything the Capitol forces upon me at the games, it is painful for her to watch and know that there is nothing that she can do about it. And she has stayed strong, she has not given in. She has been there for me, always.

No matter what.

And I think that perhaps she is stronger than me. Stronger than I am. Yes, she suffers from something beyond her control, but she has also fought it. And she has won, as best as she can.

I close my eyes, and rest my head on top of hers. How did I ever forget that? How did I ever make the one I love more than life itself feel unwanted. Unneeded. Useless.

"I'm sorry, Annie. So sorry. I love you so much."

She nods,"And I love you. So much."

I could never ask for a better woman than Annie. She is my strength, in a way. She is readily forgiving, readily loving. And she sees the best in people. The best in me.

For the second time this evening, I press my lips to hers, and the salty taste of her tears has not left. My hands run through her hair, across her neck, along her arm, reaching for something to hold onto. Her hand slips into mine, and I kiss her deeper, trying to prove to her that she is not unneeded.

But it is far more than that.

Not one of our kisses has ever gone without meaning. Whereas I, thanks to the Capitol, was not exactly one to hold back when it came to kisses, Annie was exactly the opposite. Even when we began a firm relationship, she didn't allow me to kiss her for months. And when she finally did, it was so much more meaningful. Now, every time we kiss, it seems to mean something. Another realization and signature of the love that we share. The love that we have for one another.

When we finally break apart, her tears have ceased. I brush her eyes with my finger, drying the last of the wetness from her face. She closes her eyes, and I kiss her again, lightly, on the top of her head. Then I stand and help her up.

Holding hands we reenter the forest, and make back for my home.

"Finnick, I'm not going into the arena, am I?" her voice is barely audible, but the words sound like a thunderclap in my mind. I consider lying, avoiding the truth, but after tonight, I can't. Even for Annie's sake. It would be wrong.

"No, Annie. We thought it certain that your name would be drawn. Snow would delight in placing the two of us back in the arena, for us to watch each other die. But Mags is going to volunteer for you. Please don't try to stop her, Annie. See, she is my best friend, besides you, and I can not bear the thought of her dying. But if you were in the arena, I would not be able to put aside my feelings and help Katniss and Peeta over you. With Mags, it may have to be different. I don't know. But I do know that if it came to you or Katniss, I would choose you every time. Every time."

Annie nods, but I can visibly see the battle going on inside her. The pain she feels. But I know I would feel the same way. I could not let someone else die for me, no matter what. I just couldn't.

Luckily, I suppose, no one will want too. I wouldn't be surprised if there are people cheering for my death.

"Okay, Finnick. Okay."

And those words are the most amazing that I could have ever asked for.

"Thank you, Annie."

She nods, and her face is surprisingly at peace. Lost in thought, perhaps, but at peace.

We reach the borders of the forest, and I slip my shoes back on as we head to her porch. It is only then, once she has one hand on her door, that I release the other. I am so frightened at the notion of losing her, that even to let go of her hand seems like death itself.

"Annie, you are the only one that I could ever love. Stay safe. I could not go on without you."

She smiles softly,"make sure you save Katniss and yourself in that arena. I love you, Finnick."

I lean in for one last kiss, but she pulls away, and opening the door, slips just inside, smiling slyly,"Tomorrow, Finnick." And then she shuts the door, leaving me on the porch.

I roll my eyes, but I can't help but smiling myself. That is the Annie I once knew, and I know what she was trying to tell me through it. That however much she has changed, however much we have changed, she is still Annie. I am still Finnick. And nothing can take that away from us. Not the Capitol, not the President.

Love is a funny thing, really. Especially when you are Finnick Odair, sex god of the Capitol.

It is an exceptionally funny thing, then. And though many would say it would be far less meaningless, I know otherwise. When you are forced to be someone you are not, forced by the Capitol into selling your own body, nothing is more important than true love. And to have someone to love means so much more.

Especially when that someone is Annie.

I turn back to her home, once I have reached my own porch, and see that her light is on, and her windows are open. She is seated on a rocking chair, in her living room. And she is staring at me.

She is smiling.

I wave to her, not able to suppress a grin of my own. She blows me a kiss, and I catch it, blowing her one back.

And then I wink, and enter my own home, closing the door.

The remains of our meal are still sitting on the table. It makes me sick, because I know it will need to be thrown out. And throwing out food, when so many are starving, has always disgusted me.

And then I know what I must do. There are still just over three months until the reaping for the Quarter Quell. Rebellions are brewing in other districts.

District Four needs a rebellion as well. We will keep seafood out of the Capitol. Give them a taste of their own medicine, in as large a portion as we have the power to do. And hope that when combined with the rebellions of the other districts, we are able to make a mark.

Make our mark.

I smile at the thought.

My mind is already working fast, planning everything that I can do. How I can start it. What weapons we have. I think of the trident in the woods. Along with others, it to must play its part.

It takes me a long time to get to sleep.

And when I do, thoughts of the Capitol's downfall and Snow's demise fill my dreams.

It is the best sleep I have had in a very long time.

**I am so sorry for not updating for a while! I have been working on an actual novel that I am writing, and have generally just been busy with Christmas stuff. Finally got around to writing a new chapter! Let me know what you think! I really, really appreciate the feedback (good or bad) as it helps me to become a better writer! Thanks for reading! **


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